Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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