I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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