my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
