I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
