cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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