I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize