called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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