Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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