he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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