omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
