my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
