Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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