Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
