so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
