I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
