No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
