I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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