hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
