Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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