Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
