I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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