oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
