he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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