I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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