Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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