where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The best revenge is premature balding
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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