i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
