and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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