Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
