Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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