okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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