Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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