The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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