So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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