The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
