If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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