I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize