they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Are we still banned from the library?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
