dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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