I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
