I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
