Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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