So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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