Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
