it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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