I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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