Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
