Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
