i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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