I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I yelled at your uterus for you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
