Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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