what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
