Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.