I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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