You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
