I hope mine doesn't look like that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
