can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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