:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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