people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
